


If Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right, Try Three

by NotDeadpool



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Boys Kissing, Cecil is Mostly Human, Established Relationship, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, No Tentacles, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Threesome - M/M/M, hopefully I can use that tag, teamcecearlos2014!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-08
Updated: 2014-03-08
Packaged: 2018-01-14 23:32:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1282747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotDeadpool/pseuds/NotDeadpool
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A polyamorous relationship really isn't for everyone, but Cecil Gershwin Palmer is determined to make this one work. If only his boyfriends would stop squabbling...</p>
            </blockquote>





	If Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right, Try Three

**Author's Note:**

> Hah, my first thing posted on here and it's Cecearlos.  
> Anyway! First time writing a threesome, so do feel free to point out any glaring errors.

Even if Cecil tried to keep things even between his two lovers, it was often something of a tug-of-war between the two of them. And he was the rope. The rope they were both simultaneously attempting to please. So when it came to sex (which, admittedly, Cecil did try and initiate more often in the somewhat ambitious ideal that having them work towards a common goal (i.e.; him) would force them to cooperate. Naturally, because this was Cecil’s life and _not_ one of those slightly-illegal romances he was so fond of reading, that just made things worse), he often found himself in the pleasurable but frustrating situation of having two squabbling, gorgeous men fighting over him.

"No, he doesn't like being teased on the neck like that." Earl would say, licking hot stripes on Cecil's chest while he attempted to glare daggers at Carlos.

 "I beg to differ. Having performed many experiments on Cecil's erogenous zones and arousal rate, he loves it." And Carlos would then illustrate his point by sucking and biting a mark onto Cecil's neck, causing the radio host to mewl and squirm underneath him. Carlos would purr out a soft praise before turning to glance smugly at Earl. "See? He loves it." Earl would scowl, and then tell Carlos that although Cecil seemed to like it on his neck, he much preferred teasing along his inner thighs while Carlos would scoff. And all the while, Cecil would have a conflicting time deciding whether he wanted these two sexy men fighting over him like this or not.

One night, he decided that he'd had enough.

"Right! That's it!" He barked at the scientist and the scoutmaster, who were currently bickering about whether Cecil enjoyed having his hair pulled or not. "While this has been nice to watch and listen to for that past few months, this is getting ridiculous! You two have to at least attempt to get on if you both want me." He folded his arms and schooled his expression to look as stern as possible. "And if you can't do that, neither of you can have me." Both Carlos and Earl looked shocked at that, sneaking sideways glares at each other as if to say, _"This is your fault."_ Cecil took a deep breath; trying to ignore the impulse to laugh at the two grown men acting like argumentative three year olds. "So… I want to see you both getting along. Now. Starting with a rather literal interpretation of 'kiss and make up'."

Carlos and Earl exchanged something of an incredulous look. Cecil attempted to look all the more stern, his voice a low growl. Earl attempted to place a hand on Cecil's knee, perhaps in an attempt to calm him down, but Cecil was having none of that. "I mean it," he said, glowering at the two of them and attempting to control the sudden excitement he felt at the mere idea of the two of them _kissing_. "Until you can prove to me that you can get along, I'm completely unavailable."

Carlos turned to Earl and shrugged, his expression clearly stating, "Well, there's no use arguing with him." Earl pulled a brief face, muttering something about poncey scientists, which earned him a glare from Carlos. Cecil's heart sank. This really wasn't going as well as he'd envisioned.

And then Carlos pulled Earl close and kissed him fiercely, possibly in response to the accusation of being _poncey_. The kiss was a little clumsy, and tentative for all it's fierceness, and Earl was evidently so stunned by this development that he forgot how to kiss back.

But then Earl leaned in and deepened the kiss by tangling one hand in Carlos's perfect hair (and Cecil could see through the gaps between their parted lips that his tongue was attempting to do similar with Carlos's own), and Carlos actually groaned in response. His own hand soon curled around the scoutmaster's jaw, keeping him firmly in place. The shared kiss was sloppy and rough, and evidently both were trying to gain dominance and control over the other. Eventually, they started tugging each other's clothes off, lips parting for a few frantic seconds to let a shirt or a coat slip off, just to re-join as if pulled together by some magnetic force. Leaving them both pleasantly shirtless.

Cecil really couldn't believe his luck as he stared unashamedly at his lovers, a bright flush burning his cheeks. He squirmed somewhat uncomfortably, palming at the growing tent in his brightly coloured, leopard print jeans. It was that movement that caught the attention of the other two, who pulled away from the kiss; breaths coming in soft panting gasps and cheeks flushed a dark red. And both smirking as they turned to Cecil.

Cecil whimpered at the look of open lust the two of them shared.

Cecil felt himself shudder and flush a deeper shade of violet as the two of them made their way over, Earl resuming his place at Cecil's feet and Carlos taking the opportunity to sit behind Cecil, purring into his ear. "If we had known that you liked that sort of thing, querido, we would have… Cooperated a lot sooner." Carlos started nibbling at Cecil's ear, taking the tip of the shell into his mouth and sucking, leaving Cecil a mewling mess. Earl quickly rid Cecil of his jeans, hands drifting up to ghost against the prominent bulge in Cecil's boxers. "You really seemed to enjoy that little show, Ceec." The scoutmaster smirked, sharing a quick look with Carlos. "Perhaps you'd like to watch some more?" He slipped his hand into Cecil's boxers and started pumping, trailing coarse fingertips up and down the other's shaft. Cecil bit down on his lower lip, but still couldn't hold back a loud whimpering moan at both the thought and the actions.

Carlos released his ear with a pleased hum. "But not yet. This is about you, Cecil." And almost as if he was waiting for those words, Earl took Cecil's cock into his mouth, swirling his tongue on the head and sucking languidly. Cecil's back arched almost instantly, pushing himself back into Carlos's chest. The scientist chuckled darkly. "Mm… We're going to make you feel things you've only ever dreamed of, amor. And I know how filthy your dreams get."

Cecil squirmed and moaned loudly, barely hearing what Carlos said but somehow acknowledging from the tone that things were about to get intense. Earl hummed around Cecil's cock before pulling away with a wet pop. He licked his slightly swollen lips almost obscenely slowly, planting a few kisses to Cecil's thigh. "Our aim is to have you come at least three times tonight. Or rather, it's Carlos's hypothesis that we can." And that shared smirk was back, causing Cecil's stomach to coil and his heart to flutter. He took a deep breath and cleared his throat, about to ask then what they meant by "hypothesis" when his boyfriends evidently decided that they'd had enough of him talking and both kissed him, hot and filthy. Cecil couldn't help but moan into the shared, sloppy kiss, the sound easily muffled by the exquisite feeling of _two_ mouths on his at the same time, and then _two_ tongues taking horrible advantage of his moan to enter his mouth, one finding his own and entwining while the other flicked against the sensitive roof of Cecil's mouth, over and over with enough intensity to drive the radio host mad. He couldn't even tell which mouth belonged to whom anymore; it was almost impossible to tell, and now there were two tongues attempting to tangle with his own and he couldn't take it, he couldn't. He bucked his hips up, grinding and rubbing himself against the laps of his lovers with desperate little groans, feeling himself grow stupidly close to the edge.

And the damned, glorious kiss _didn't stop_ , it just got rougher; as now there was a flash of teeth against Cecil's lip, nibbling and nipping with enough roughness to have him whining, while a hand tugged at his hair and forced him up slightly, breaking the kiss momentarily with a broken moan as his vision swam from lack of air.

However, that did nothing to stop Earl and Carlos. As soon as Cecil pulled away, they turned on each other, still kissing with a frantic debauchery and filthiness that made Cecil mewl to watch, still grinding rather hopefully against the two of them. And then there were two hands wrapped around his cock, one pale, one dark, making him see stars and he didn't know whose name to yell as he came, so he settled for a garbled moaning yell of something that could have been Earl's name or Carlos'. The orgasm was far more intense than anything he'd ever felt before, his eyes rolling into the back of his head as he came, messing up the two hands on his cock and staining his chest with strings of white. He slumped back, his breathing ragged and gasping, suddenly mewling at the sensation of two tongues on his over-sensitive cock, cleaning and sucking perhaps a little too much.

Carlos pulled away with a deliciously dark smirk. "That was one." He purred.

A shudder ran down Cecil's spine as he let out another pathetic-sounding mewl, his face flushed. Somehow, through those two wonderfully, unfairly talented tongues cleaning him up, lapping at the crease of his thighs and leaving soft marks as his lovers sucked and bit at the sensitive skin, impossibly, he was coaxed back to some degree of hardness. He managed to sit up somewhat, leaning on shaking arms and watching the sinfully glorious sight between his legs. Carlos and Earl exchanged another one of those knowing looks that seemed to drive Cecil _wild_ before both those mouths were closing around his cock at the same time and then Cecil forgot how to think. He bit down on his lip as hard as he could, his face flushed and his cock almost impossibly giving an eager twitch at the two mouths stimulating it, and occasionally those two incredibly talented tongues would cross in their path leading to a frantic, shared kiss that suddenly encompassed the head of his cock and Cecil couldn't take it. With a loud moan, he bucked up into the twin welcoming warm wetness, moaning his frustration when Carlos and Earl pulled away before whimpering at the look of pure lust the other two shared, an almost identical smirk curving both their lips. "Why," Carlos remarked, a teasing huskiness evident in his voice. "I do believe we've broken the Voice of Night Vale, Mr Harlan."

Earl arched a brow, examining the debauched, quivering mess that was their Cecil. "I think you're right. Are we up to stage two of the experiment yet?"

Carlos chuckled, the sound amused and yet so dark. "Most definitely."

They seemed to move as one, Carlos returning to his place behind Cecil and immediately kissing him, hot and filthy, so thoroughly distracting him that he didn't even notice where Earl's fingers, suddenly slick and cold, were- at first. Cecil mewled into the kiss, shivering all over as one finger was wriggled into him and then a second, stretching and scissoring, working him loose and open.

Carlos chuckled, deep and throaty, smirking against Cecil's lips as the radio host started mewling, rocking himself onto Earl's fingers. "Don't get ahead of us, love," he murmured, trailing gentle kisses along Cecil's jaw, drinking in each tormented-sounding moan. And then Earl _twisted_ his fingers, managing to hit something _perfect_ and causing Cecil to scream, the sound practically torn from his throat. Carlos shot Earl something of a glare, which was returned with a cheerful grin. Cecil, meanwhile, was writhing and gasping as two fingers incessantly massaged his prostate, causing bursts of pleasure to spark behind his eyes and down his spine. And then they were _curling_ , almost making beckoning motion inside of him and oh, he knew just how talented Earl could be with those fingers, nimble and flexible from tying rope together in intricate knots (he still remembered the rope burns he got from their "Knot-Tying Badge" with shivery fondness). And now they were wriggling inside him so perfectly, making Cecil throw his head back with a whimper.

Carlos was still glaring at Earl between the sloppy kisses and bites along Cecil's jaw and neck, and Earl's response was a grin that could only be described as "shit-eating". Cecil groaned, relishing the sensation of being able to push against Carlos's delicious toned chest and feel those firm muscles against his back as well as being able to force himself further onto Earl's fingers. And then there were _three_ fingers stretching him with a slow pleasurable burn, working him so roughly and wonderfully that he lost it, shuddering through his release with a strangled cry of "E-Ea _rl_ \--!!"

Carlos bit down possessively on Cecil's shoulder as if to remind him who else was pleasuring him, but the radio host was too far gone, slumping back against him. Earl kissed along Cecil's messy stomach sweetly; happily ignoring the scowl Carlos was giving him. "Two," he murmured, glancing up with a grin.

"Two." Carlos conceded, a slight growl leaving his chest.

"…T-Two?" Cecil managed, shivering and biting down on his lower lip, feeling too worn out to do anything but lean against the scientist behind him, catching his breath. A whimper left his lips as Carlos rocked his hips against his lower back, the hardness of the scientist’s lower anatomy reminding him that the night was far from over.

Cecil's whimper of loss quickly muffled by a sudden kiss from the scoutmaster, frantic and yet so sweet. Carlos returned to Cecil's ear, taking the lobe between his teeth and tugging firmly, coaxing another series of muffled blissful sounds from Cecil's lips only to be almost instantly swallowed by Earl, who by then had taken Cecil's overtly sensitive cock in hand again, stroking it languidly with those coarse fingertips while his tongue lazily explored Cecil's mouth. Cecil mewled against the other's lips, almost too sensitive for any sensation there to be pleasurable, shivering while Carlos's hands were curling around his waist, fingertips tracing prominent hipbones with a form of reverence, the scientist having moved down to leave hungry kisses and slow licks along Cecil's neck.

Cecil slowly felt himself melting into something of a hot mess, once again shivering as impossible coils of arousal racked his body, nearly too tired to act upon them. Earl pulled away from the surprisingly lengthy kiss after a warning growl from Carlos, nodding in response to something, either in agreement or permission, and although Cecil tried to turn his head to view Carlos's expression, he was soon distracted by those two strong hands that had been lovingly massaging his hips lifting him up and positioning him over the scientist's oh-so-hard cock. He squirmed as Carlos lowered him and he was breached; inch by slow inch, Carlos stretching him so perfectly like he always did. He moaned at the almost overwhelming sensation, Carlos's cock so thick and perfect and _pulsing_ inside him that he forgot how to think. He groaned Carlos's name and felt the scientist smirk against his neck, murmuring soft assurances and praises; _yes Cecil, so good, so tight, so hot_ … Earl leant in again, chasing Cecil's lips and dragging him into another filthy kiss.

Cecil found himself whimpering and mewling against Earl's lips, feeling rather than hearing Carlos's soft grunts as he started rocking his hips up into Cecil, still pressing sloppy kisses and bites to the radio-host's neck ( _Going to have to hide those_ , Cecil thought through a haze of arousal). Earl kept the kiss hot and filthy even as Cecil frequently was distracted, all but coiling his tongue against Cecil's and twisting hotly.

Carlos was groaning now, his voice husky and unusually deep, his slight thrusts growing faster, Cecil squirming and mewling against Earl's lips at the slow build of pressure. Earl eventually pulled away, licking his lips obscenely slowly, evidently enjoying how Cecil's eyes (lidded and pupils blown wide with desire) were trained onto every slow movement of his tongue. He kept his voice low and sultry, a wicked smirk curving his lips. "Mm, Cecil. Is he good? Does he feel good inside you? I bet he does, you're taking him so eagerly. Are you really so desperate to be filled, Cee?" Cecil just stared at him, utterly enrapt. Earl leant in further, brushing his lips against Cecil's with every word. "I think you should ride him. Move your hips a little further down onto him, it's not fair that he's doing all the hard work." Cecil gave a low, shuddering moan of agreement or at least obedience; starting to rock his own hips in small, lifting motions before plunging himself back down onto Carlos's cock, the latter letting out a guttural moan in response. "That's right, ride him." Earl murmured, pressing an almost chaste kiss to the corner of Cecil's mouth. Cecil's eyes fluttered shut only to be force open moments later when Earl's hand curved around his cock once again, unusually slight and _oh_ , he thrust into the offered fist with utter abandon, mewling in frustration as Earl loosened his grip.

And then Earl's cock was pressed so perfectly against his, still somewhat slick and Cecil was now rutting against it shamelessly, enjoying the ragged gasps from Earl. Not to be outdone, Carlos started bucking his hips up all the further, all but ramming into Cecil's slick and stretched hole with increasing desperation, his hands firmly tugging Cecil's hips down into his cock.

They were all on edge now, hands and lips and fingertips dragging and brushing against every sensitive spot, every patch of skin that was somehow sparking with some form of delicious static (thankfully, not literally- it wasn't a Thursday). Moans and grunts and mewling whimpers filled the room, Cecil delighting in the sounds he was drawing out from the two men, adoring every moment of frantic ecstasy.

Cecil succumbed first, forced to the edge several times so early on in the night that he thought it nearly impossible to reach his peak again; yet here he was, bucking against Earl's cock and forcing himself down onto Carlos's cock with a frantic need, seeing stars every time Earl twisted his hand _just so_ or Carlos thrust against the one particular spot. He came with a rapturous cry, all wordless sounds of pure bliss and pleasure. And really, Cecil's climax seemed to be a catalyst for the other two, Earl attacking Cecil's lips for a final, frantic kiss while Carlos let out a loud moan as Cecil tightened around him, both coming within seconds of each other.

  
In the messy afterward that followed, Carlos pulled out with a muffled groan, pressing gentle kisses to Cecil's neck before falling down onto the bed, more or less completely worn out. He took Cecil down with him, wrapping him in his arms. Not to be left out, Earl quickly laid down on Cecil's other side, looping his arms around Cecil's waist, much to Carlos's chagrin. The two of them quietly started bickering about how Cecil liked to be cuddled after an intense lovemaking session, but their subject didn't hear them, having already fallen asleep in his lovers' arms.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Well, that was fun! May be posting more stuff at odd intervals. We'll see.  
> Thanks to the amazing [Mollo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/created_clockwork) and [Jaycie](http://archiveofourown.org/users/preludedArtist/pseuds/preludedArtist) for early feedback and general Beta-ing. Check 'em out, they're awesome.  
> Also, thanks to the incredibly talented [Mixxy](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Mixxy/pseuds/Mixxy) for the inspiration and encouragement. Check out her blog and her fics. Seriously. Do it.


End file.
